


A Partner Lost

by DualWieldingCousland (DualWieldingMama)



Series: After the Blight [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Gen, random wardens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5898880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DualWieldingMama/pseuds/DualWieldingCousland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was extremely hard for me to write.  We’ve made the incredibly difficult decision to put down our dog.  We’ve had him since before spawn was born; the boy refers to the dog as “his brother”.  I wrote this over the last few days, as an attempt at … therapy of some sort.  I’m … not really sure it helped, honestly.  I know my emotions have been on edge, but I cried at work while writing this (not my smartest idea … writing at work, but oh well).  But at any rate …</p>
<p>You may have read in The Cure that Regan lost her mabari, Jasper, during the quest for the cure.  This … is that story.  So, warning for (major?) character death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Partner Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Since there are brand new people who don’t really exist anywhere else, here’s a quick rundown of the cast.
> 
> Regan Cousland - Human; early 30s; Female; Rogue - Dual swords  
> Jasper - Mabari;17ish human yrs; Male; Warrior - Teeth & Claws  
> Nathaniel Howe - Human; mid - late 30s; Male; Rogue - Archer  
> Kei'lara - Dalish; mid 40s; Female; Mage - Staff  
> “Ceila” - Dwarf; mid 20s; Female; Warrior - 2-Handed Axe  
> Charon - Human; late 20s; Male; Warrior - Sword & Shield  
> “Snake” - Surface; Dwarf; early 20s; Male; Rogue - Dual daggers  
> Marcon - City Elf; 18 - 20; Male; Mage - Spirit Blade  
> “Vechter” - Tal-Vashoth; mid 30s; Female; Warrior - 2-Handed sword  
> Maria - Human; mid 30s; Female; Mage - Staff  
> Sophia - City Elf; mid 20s; Female; Mage - Staff

“Well, the _easiest_ option would simply be to find the biggest darkspawn you could and kill it.  Then we could drain it dry and just … keep the blood like you do for your joinings.”  Sophia’s voice was small, almost hesitant as she spoke to the cluster of wardens.

Several pairs of eyes turned toward the scribe and just … stared.  They all knew the elven woman had been assigned to the group when she’d asked the First Warden for aide at Weisshaupt, but they also knew she _wasn’t_ a warden.

“Creators; does _everyone_ know what the Joining entails now?”  Kei’lara rolled her eyes.  When _she_ went through the Joining, Duncan had assured her that only a few wardens knew the whole ritual.  Now, they were even letting _scribes_ prepare them.

“You’d think with as much secrecy as the wardens put on with conscripts _before_ the Joining, _no one_ knew about the blasted thing.”  Snake would have slumped against the wall, had there actually been a wall.  The dwarf settled for crossing his arms and trying to look bored.

Regan half-smiled and shook her head.  She remembered thinking the same thing when she found out the seneschal in Amaranthine had known, when it took forever for anyone to even _think_ about telling her and Alistair how to go about it.  “It makes sense to have a few non-wardens aware … otherwise you get the same problems we had in Ferelden.”

“Back up; biggest darkspawn?  You mean an ogre?”  Marcon looked nervous; he’d only faced off against some of the smaller darkspawn.  Ogres weren’t really supposed to be seen unless there was a blight … or you were _really_ unlucky.

“You want _us_ to kill an ogre … just so we can drain its blood?  Are you sure you’re not a blood mage?”

Everyone started chattering at once.  It was times like this that almost made her miss the countless meetings she and Alistair had to attend in Denerim.  At least there, all it took to get everyone to shut up was a well-placed glare.  Here, she had to contend with warring personalities and booming voices and more than a few randomly thrown punches.  She _really_ wished Nathaniel and Jasper were back, but they were off hunting for food while the rest of the group made camp and figured out their next move.

“Even if she _was_ a blood mage, and I’m _not_ saying she is ….”  Regan dragged a hand down her face and sighed.  At least once every other day, Charon made the accusation that _one_ of the mages in the group was a blood mage.  He made it so often that she couldn’t tell if he was being serious or just mocking the fact that almost every other templar out there seemed to automatically assume every mage was a blood mage.  “Sophia is working for _us_.  And honestly, if she wanted to control a few darkspawn with blood magic so that they threw themselves off a cliff … I don’t think I’d complain.”

“So you believe the cure will rely on the darkspawn blood?”  A heavily Nevarran voice finally broke through the chatter.  “Much like the Joining?  It makes sense.”  Maria plucked up a few of Sophia’s notes, looking them over with the same critical eye she used when reviewing apprentices papers.

“I am still amazed you even convinced the First Warden to let you do this.”  Kei’lara made her way over to Regan with barely a sound.  “And with so many wardens.”  

Regan looked around the campsite and sighed.  She knew the Dalish elf was being facetious … the First Warden had nearly thrown a fit when she’d said she wanted a small group to go hunting for a cure.  And, honestly, the group was actually _larger_ than what the First Warden had wanted.  She’d been told to take only four wardens plus a scribe who happened to be a mage, but word of her quest had spread in whispers, and by the time she was ready to leave with her small group, it had doubled.

Nathaniel Howe had been a given.  Once he found out what she wanted to do, he wasted no time in becoming her partner.  She’d talked the Dalish mage, Kei’lara, into going because the woman’s Calling was getting closer; Duncan had recruited her not long after he’d made it back from some trip to the Deep Roads.  Charon had been assigned to the group because the First Warden felt it prudent to have someone with templar training accompanying a group with _two_ mages.  And she knew Vechter was along because the First Warden just did not like having an “ox-woman” as a warden, _especially_ one who had a tendency to fall into a berserker-type rage.  And, of course, where Regan went, Jasper followed.  Sophia was their scribe; a decent enough mage, though one that had no combat skills or spells whatsoever.  She specialized in research, and only knew a smattering of healing and defensive spells.

Before the group had even made it out of the First Warden’s office, Marcon had all but begged to join.  The city elf was still new to the wardens and while he knew that mages were safer in Weisshaupt than out in the world, he felt safer still with the woman who’d allowed him to go through the Joining.  Ceila nearly pummeled Regan for even _thinking_ about leaving without her; there was no way she’d let the woman who was willing to stand up to King Bhelen go on an adventure without her.  And where Ceila went, Snake had to go too.  He was devoted to the other dwarf and no one but Ceila knew why.    Maria rounded out the group largely because she was curious if such an idea was even possible.  She was well aware that the ability to reverse the thing that made one a Grey Warden would be a help in recruiting should there ever be another Blight.  And she knew the group would need a competent healer who might still be able to fight.

“I don’t think the First Warden _meant_ for me to bring this many.”  She couldn’t help but smile.  Despite the stories the bards told, she was never really sure she was a good leader.  After all, look what had happened with Anders and Justice.  It _still_ made her sick to her stomach what she and Nathaniel had had to do.  Anders had been her friend, once.  “Actually, I’m pretty sure he hoped I’d change my mind when he only granted me four.  He’s not all that fond of me splitting time between Warden and non-Warden business, and he classifies _this_ little endeavor as non-Warden business.”

“Only because he’s a fool who stays safely away from politics in his little corner of Thedas.”  Kei’lara just shook her head.  She had wondered for years how the First Warden had earned his position.  It certainly wasn’t because of any battle prowess that she could tell.  And he wasn’t _much_ better at running any sort of government.  But that didn’t matter, really; not now.

“When Nate gets back, we’ll divvy up shifts for watch for the night.  I received word of a promising spot not only to find darkspawn, but some other ingredients Sophia thinks we might need.”

                                                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~     

“You wanted an ogre, Sophia.”  Nathaniel groaned as the all-too familiar roar echoed throughout the canyon.  “Looks like you might just get one.”  He couldn’t see it, but he didn’t bother trying to decide where the sound came from; the echoes came from everywhere, and there were too many darkspawn to get a sense of just _one_.  At least they weren’t underground.

“I … well, that wasn’t _quite_ …,” Sophia stammered as she did her best to cast barriers around as many of the wardens as she could.  The canyon had _looked_ empty and it had been on her assurance that the maps she had showed no caves nearby that they chose to walk along the small river running along the bottom.  And they’d been _safe_ … out of the sun and near a fresh water source … for nearly two days before anything happened.  And then things went south.

It hadn’t been darkspawn at first.  Snake had been trying to show off for Ceila, for the umpteenth time, and had started playing some extremely inappropriate tavern songs.  He’d somehow rigged his lute to shoot off small … bombs … that exploded into little fireworks in time to the music, and the explosions had disturbed some of the area’s native wildlife.  And disgruntled wildlife had a tendency to be … snappish.  The worst had been the bears – giant angry things that hit like an ogre.  One had nearly taken Ceila out with a simple swipe of a paw.

But after a very well-placed miss from a spell of Marcon’s knocked a large boulder loose, several darkspawn made their way into the open.  It really wouldn’t have been _that_ much of a fight had the bears not still been there … and the darkspawn mob not included shrieks.  Maker, Regan hated shrieks … almost as much as ogres.  The group unconsciously split into three groups: Regan, Jasper, Kei’lara, Snake and Marcon facing off against the darkspawn while Ceila, Vechter, and Maria tried to handle what was left of the bears.  The third consisted of Nathaniel, Charon, and Sophia.

Blades and spells went flying.  It went against everything in his nature to not start firing arrows into the fray, but his primary job, along with Charon, was to keep Sophia safe; they had been lucky enough to find an outcropping they could actually reach … and defend.  And every arrow he sent flying could well bring darkspawn … or bears … toward them.  He couldn’t help but wince and flinch every time he watched one of his brethren go flying or hit the ground, or take a blow that they should have easily been able to avoid.  Maker’s ass, how did Ceila even manage to _move_ that axe?

Charon glanced over his shoulder at Sophia and smiled.  “It’ll be ok, kid; just a few darkspawn.”  He laughed at the scowl that crossed her face, making special note that the corners of her mouth curled upwards … just a little.  “The old man here and I will keep you safe.”

“ _Old man_?”  Nathaniel just laughed, shaking his head as he kept an eye trained on the battle below, feeling a pit forming when he couldn’t find Regan.  Her husband would _kill_ him if he let her get hurt.

                                                 *******

She kind of missed her old companions … the ones from back during the Blight.  Near the end, they’d all been so in-sync that she didn’t even have to look for them on the battlefield; she just _knew_ where they were.  She didn’t have to worry about keeping them safe.  Not that she wasn’t _concerned_ ; and not that she didn’t make more of an effort to protect Alistair than the others.  Now, it almost all she could do to figure out who was where and who needed help.  At least she didn’t have to worry about where Jasper was.   _Their_ link was as strong as ever.

She knew where Nate, Charon and Sophia were; they were easy enough to spot if you knew how Nate thought.  She twisted and turned, slashing out with her blades as she dodged strike after strike, looking for the others.  Maria, Ceila, and Vechter were holding their own.  She _almost_ felt sorry for the bears.  Maria was doing her best to keep the two warriors alive while they flew into what she always considered blind rages.  ‘ _Oghren used to fight like that_ ,’ she recalled.  An ice wall would shoot up between their skirmish and the darkspawn every now and again, as if to keep their small battle separate from the others.

Her group … the ones facing the darkspawn … were more spread out, and a _lot_ harder to keep an eye on.  She saw Snake striking out at a shriek with the two small daggers he insisted on using, despite his skill with a bow.  He’d apparently overheard Ceila comment … once … that she had tremendous respect for those who could fight with two blades, and he refused to use anything else.  She heard, more than saw, Kei’lara; the elf was currently flinging fireballs while seemingly wrapped in a writhing cocoon of thorns, vines snapping out to entangle any darkspawn that got close.  It took her a minute to find Marcon.  The mage was surrounded by hurlocks, about twenty feet from her.  She would have been concerned, would have disengaged her current skirmish to help had she not watched the darkspawn fly up, then slam back down, and _then_ caught a glimpse of a glowing blade swing around in an arc through the toppled bodies.  

Her cohorts located and confirmed at least mostly OK, she turned her attention to the small cluster of darkspawn nearby and lunged, the blade held in her off-hand somehow twisting under and around their shields and armor, distracting them enough for Jasper to bowl one or two over, or for her dominant hand to bring _that_ blade around and strike.  Regan ducked and twisted and stabbed and blocked and somehow still managed to leap over Jasper every time he made a dash at a new darkspawn.  All the moves Roland had taught her … all the tricks she’d figured out on the road … everything was just … _there_ , moving her hands, her feet and her blades.  Even Sten would have been impressed.

                                                *******

“I’ve got ten gold that Marcon takes out more than anyone else.”  Charon leaned on his shield, watching the others fight.  A part of him wished he was down among the flying blades, but that would leave _just_ the archer … and the scribe.

“You’re betting _against_ our fearless leader?”  Nathaniel kept his voice soft as he laughed.  Charon had only just started traveling with Regan; he hadn’t seen what she could really do when she got going.   _This_ was just a walk in the park … as long as that ogre didn’t show up.  He hadn’t heard another roar in a while.  Maybe it’d been his imagination.

“She’s got that dog.  Her totals are halved.”  Charon stepped back to check on Sophia, who was starting to look a little green.  “You OK?”

Sophia just nodded quickly, wrapping her hands tightly around her staff.  She’d _trained_ for combat, but … as a researcher, she really didn’t see any, even in Weisshaupt.  The fact that she had no real offensive spells didn’t make her feel any better.  If anything got close, the _only_ thing she could do was throw up a barrier.  If, Maker forbid, anything happened to the two men with her, she was done for.  The occasional curses she heard the senior warden mutter under his breath didn’t help any, either.

“Trust me; with _that_ dog, she’ll take out at least _twice_ as many as Marcon.”  Nathaniel gripped his bow tighter as he saw a shriek land a lucky shot on Snake.  Well, it wasn’t _exactly_ a lucky shot, but it made it through his defenses.  And though he could see the last of the bears had finally fallen, Vechter was moving with a limp, and Maria’s hand wasn’t holding her staff quite as tightly as before.  Both raised vials to their lips, and he could only assume they were healing potions; Maria’s might have been a boost of lyrium though.  “Maker’s ass, they need to hurry.”

                                                *******

With the added blades from the two warriors, and the support from the only healer close enough to help, the mob of darkspawn finally felt like it was thinning out.  Regan had just signaled for Nathaniel and the others to regroup so they could actually gather the blood Sophia needed, certain they’d be done by the time the trio reached them, when a sound echoed around the canyon that sent a chill down her spine.  She _knew_ that sound … could still hear the screams of people trapped in Denerim during that last attack ….  Where was the blasted thing?  “Ogre!”

Nathaniel saw it barreling down the path in front of them, kicking up rock and dust as it moved one massive foot in front of the other.  A shout to warn the others was all he could get out before Maria and Kei’lara sent blasts of ice and fire in its direction.  Marcon was half a second behind, sending as many boulders as he could flying, trying to knock it down … or back … or something, but they couldn’t keep their attention focused on _it_.  There were still too many other darkspawn around.  There was a knot forming in his gut as he watched Regan, Jasper, and Snake run toward the creature … heard her bark an order to the others to deal with the rest of the darkspawn.  “Idiot; running _toward_ an ogre with no protection,” he muttered.  “Charon, go help Regan; I’ll bring Sophia.”

“Me?”  The mage’s voice came out in a squeak, and if she could have hidden behind her staff, she would have.  

“They’re going to need all the help they can get.”  Sure, it was just one ogre, but he’d seen how easily one could wipe out a good chunk of an army.  “We’ll stay back as far as we can, but they’ll _need_ your help protecting them … and probably healing them.”  He hated sounding like the grizzled old vet, but he was sure he did.  Charon was already halfway to the group, having slid down the bit of slope on his shield.  “Now, come _on_.”  

She yelped softly when he grabbed her arm and pulled her along with him, stumbling over rocks as they made their way down.  He’d promised to keep her safe.  Or, at least safer than the ones running into battle would be, right?  But what about the _other_ darkspawn still around?

                                                 *******

“Stay away from those hands!”  Regan hated that she had to remind the dwarf, again, to be aware of his surroundings.  It should have been common sense, shouldn’t it?

“But _mom,_ I wanted a hug!”

“Very funny, Snake.  Just ….”  Regan’s comeback was cut short when she had to dodge a swing from the very thing they’d just been discussing.  She lashed out with a blade, only barely making contact.  She _hated_ fighting ogres.  For something so big, they were deceptively fast.  While she and Jasper _had_ managed to take them out before, it had been with a lot of help and had taken what felt like an eternity.  She twisted again to avoid grasping fingers and brought a blade around again, catching a glimpse of Jasper going after the creature’s ankle.

She did her best to distract the ogre, keeping its attention away from Jasper and the less agile Snake.  She’d been after him to go back to his bow, but the damned fool was intent on impressing Ceila.  He just wasn’t quick enough on his feet for the dual-blades he was trying to use.  “Snake, _watch out_ for his ….”  Her momentary loss of focus on the actual ogre was just enough for her to be sent flying, back-handed away like little more than a bothersome gnat.  She slammed into the stone wall and sank to the ground, her vision blurry for a moment.

“Watch out for what?”  Snake stopped after driving his dagger into the ogre’s leg, turned to look for Regan so she could clarify what he was supposed to be looking out for.  He shouldn’t have.  The dwarf realized, almost as soon as he’d turned, that he shouldn’t have.  He couldn’t see Regan any more.  All he could see was a massive hand reaching out and plucking him from the ground.  He could hear frantic barking, and someone yelling for Regan … and was that Ceila’s voice he heard yelling for _him_?  Had she finally noticed him?  Was it getting tighter all of a sudden?  Was that a rib he just heard crack?

Shit; this was what he’d been worried about.  “Regan!”  Nathaniel forgot for a moment that he was supposed to be trying to stay mostly out of the action.  Seeing one of his oldest friends knocked loopy, _and_ one of their wardens get crushed like it was nothing would kind of do that to most anyone.  “Get over to her; see if you can help her.  I’ll cover you.”  He didn’t wait for Sophia to agree; he just kind of shoved her toward the least darkspawn-crowded path and started loosing arrows.  He didn’t think there was anything they could do for Snake, but he’d damned sure bet Regan could use some help.

“Maker’s bloody balls, that hurt.”  Regan struggled to her feet, trying to shake the last of the clouds from her head.  She’d been lucky; only hit on flat rock instead of one of those weird outcroppings not a more than a few feet away.  She took a breath … then two, and adjusted her grip on her blades.  Damned thing was going to make it difficult.  She couldn’t see Snake or Jasper, could barely hear the clang of weapons behind her; she had to hope the others were still ok.  A stumbling charge sent her forward just in time for the ogre to see her … reach out for her.

Jasper shook off the exhaustion that was creeping up on him.  He wasn’t a young pup anymore … wasn’t even a young dog.  He’d lived far longer than _anyone_ had expected, and had no intention of stopping anytime soon.  He also had no intention of letting the woman who’d raised him from puppy-hood get crushed like that idiot dwarf.  As soon as he saw the massive hand reaching for her, he moved, as fast as his legs would go.  They’d spent hours working out the best way to face these things … he remembered how she’d made legs out of canvas and hay so they could practice.  

With a snarl that would have made even kings shiver in their boots … it had, once or twice, actually … he lunged.  Teeth dug into sour flesh at the back of the ogre’s ankle.  He had to resist the urge to gag; doing so would require him to let go, and he couldn’t … not yet.  Jasper dug in, forcing his jaws closed around the tendon that was _just_ there.  Rip that out, and even a beast this size would be hobbled.  They’d trained for this … practiced this; he knew he could do it.  She was counting on him.  He pulled, yanking his head away as hard as he could; teeth still grinding down on the thick cord, feeling it slowly give way and tear.

Regan jumped to the side as Charon’s shield whacked the hand away.  She hadn’t heard him approach, but she wasn’t really surprised; she had been a bit distracted.  She risked a quick glance around her … saw a small lump of body that was almost certainly Snake.  There were arrows sticking out from the ogre’s arm and leg, so Nathaniel had to be nearby.  She could hear the others still fighting behind her, though the sounds of combat were … less than they had before.  She hoped that was because the darkspawn were almost gone.  And there was Jasper, ripping away at the tendon at the back of the ankle, just like they’d practiced.

The ogre bellowed as flesh and sinew ripped.  It reached back, twisting to grab at Jasper even as it stumbled about.  It wasn’t immobile, but it couldn’t run … or even really walk.  But it _could_ grasp and crush and fling, and that was exactly what it tried to do.  

Nathaniel felt his stomach sink as Jasper was encircled by the creature’s hand, lifted high and thrashed about.  He could hear the mabari yelp in pain as the ogre started to squeeze.  He launched everything he could think of … poison arrows at the hand, exploding arrows anywhere that wouldn’t directly hurt Jasper … everything.  He called for Sophia to shield the dog … to heal him … _something_.

“I … I can’t!”  The elf pulled her attention away from the actual battle to look over at him.  “I … I can’t get a clear shot.  If … if I miss I could … heal that thing!”

“That would be a _bad_ idea.”  Regan tried to keep her voice level as she saw her beloved companion move far above her head.  She didn’t wait for a response … didn’t wait for Sophia to cast a spell on her, or anyone to even move.  She ran … straight for it … used a conveniently placed boulder and fallen tree as a springboard and launched herself up to the creature’s back.  She could hear Jasper struggling … hear his whines and growls growing softer … further apart.  No, no, no, no, no!  With a sound somewhere between a war cry and a sob, she shoved both blades down, on either side of the beast’s neck, doing her best to angle so that they hit every single important vessel and organ they could.

Charon plunged his blade as far into the ogre’s chest as he could when it fell forward, yanking it out only when he felt it could go no further.  Black blood spilled from the wound and he rolled out of the way to keep from being pinned.  The human was just pushing himself to his feet when he felt, more than saw, someone use him as a stepping stone to reach the ogre’s hand.

Regan dropped her blades and tried to find a way to wedge the ogre’s hand open.  She _had_ to get Jasper out.  She could hear his breathing … jumping between slow whimpers and quick, pained pants.  She tried to sooth him … to keep him still while she worked.  There were gentle whispers that she’d have him out soon, promises of steak and a soft bed for being so brave.  She tried to hide the tears she knew were running down her cheeks as she struggled to even budge the mabari’s prison.

Kei’lara was the first to reach her side, having been headed that way after vanquishing the closest darkspawn.  She worked in silence, using vines to weave in between still-clenched fingers.  She focused solely on helping the young woman move the trunk-like fingers, trying to ignore the certainty that it was going to be futile.  

Nathaniel, Charon, and Vechter all joined soon after, everyone working to free the mabari by grabbing whatever they could and pulling for all they were worth.  But even Vechter, who was arguably the strongest of any of them, could only barely budge them.  It wasn’t until the ogre made one final twitch, hands clenching tight enough to draw one more heart-wrenching yelp from Jasper, that the fingers finally just … fell open.

Regan was at his side in an instant, tugging the mabari into her lap.  She cradled his head against her and just stroked his fur.  “Shh,” she whispered, feeling his body tense … like he was trying to crawl closer.  “You did good, buddy.”  

She could hear the others arguing with Sophia; Nathaniel and Kei’lara all but demanding she do _something_ to heal the dog.  She knew others had gone to check on Snake; Maria’s spells wouldn’t help, but she knew enough about healing potions that _maybe_ something would work.  And all Sophia could say was that her magic would be of no use; the beast was too bad off.  

She ignored them all, focusing on the soft pants that were slowly fading.  She whispered words of praise and reminders that she loved him.  She thanked him and promised to watch over all the litters his offspring would continue to produce.  And she held him, tears running down her cheeks … until there was nothing but a glassy-eyed stare and … dead weight.  And when she spoke, it sounded flat … as lifeless as the partner she’d just lost.  “Get your blood, Sophia.  There should be plenty.”

Nathaniel was the only one brave enough to get near her, dropping to one knee and resting a hand on her shoulder.  He looked around at the others, not really surprised to see them all just … staring at her.  For the last year or more, they’d all traveled together, and they’d never seen her anything but calm … almost bored with things that caught the newer wardens by surprise.  Oh, she was focused, but there was always this slight smile, especially around Nathaniel and Jasper … like she was thinking about something funny, or maybe plotting a prank.  This … this hollow Regan … was something almost scary.

“You heard her.  Go; collect as much blood as you can.”  Maria hesitantly made her way over to let him know that they were down one dwarf as well.  And Ceila wasn’t handling it well.  One of the benefits of being as close to Regan as he was, having grown up with her … he knew what she’d want done … for both of them.  “Get Charon and Maria … we’ll gather up enough wood for two pyres.”  He heard the faint ‘thank you’, gave her shoulder one more squeeze, and pushed away.  It would be worse for her that night.

                                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~     

Everything took a lot longer than he’d expected.  The nearest trees were soaked with blood, and while they _would_ burn, it would take a while to catch.  So, instead, he’d had Marcon knock several rocks down to block the entrance to whatever cavern they’d opened while he, Maria and Kei’lara cobbled together an easily dragged platform to haul Jasper and Snake to a place they could use.  Regan had remained silent, almost mechanically following his instructions for once.  If it had been for _any_ other reason, he would have made a joke.  But _his_ heart hurt, losing Jasper.  He could only imagine how she felt.

When they finally _did_ make camp, he, Ceila and Regan prepared the pyres.  The two women refused anyone else’s help.  Ceila only accepted his because Regan did.  Once the wooden structures were built and the wrapped bodies were laid out, torches were set to the tinder.  The group stood silently, heads bowed as the flames slowly began to consume the bodies.  By the time they were fully ablaze, only Ceila, Nathaniel, Maria and Regan remained.  

“Idiot dwarf.”  Ceila’s voice barely carried over the crackling of wood.  “Should have listened to you, Commander.  Stone-damned fool was shite with blades.”

“He wanted to impress a pretty girl; that’s all.”  Maria wrapped her arms around the younger dwarf as best she could and sighed.  “I can’t blame him there.”  She knew Ceila felt guilty … like it was somehow her fault Snake had taken to the daggers instead of the bow he was far more proficient with.  But there was nothing they could do now.  “I know we have different customs, but … he went out a warden … and a bit of a hero.  I can’t help but think he’d be a little pleased at that.”

“Get some sleep, you two.”  Nathaniel wrapped an arm around Regan and turned her from the flames as well.  He knew there would be no sleep for her tonight … or for him, but she could at least be in her tent … in case she did pass out.  He’d arranged for their tent to face the pyres, so she could watch it burn as long as she felt she needed.  Besides, he could tell she was beginning to crack.

She let him guide her to the tent, even let him finagle her to the ground.  It wasn’t until he sat beside her … until he put his arm around her and pulled her into a tight hug, that she let go.  And then it was like a dam breaking.  It wasn’t loud; she wasn’t about to let the others hear her sob.  But it was hard, and it was painful.  She buried her face in his shoulder and cried … whimpered that she missed him, that she’d failed him.  She snarled that this cure better be worth it … better work, if her beloved mabari had to give up his life for the supplies.  Regan was glad for Nate’s company that night … glad her old friend hadn’t been lost so many years ago.  She was glad for the chance to get out the tears … for tomorrow, no more could be shed.  Tomorrow, they started on the damned cure.


End file.
